Anyone got some good stories..

Bueller? Bueller?....

My contribution to this thread.

It was a Saturday a year before they imploded the Sands and i was on a
solitary gambling junket and I decided to stop mid day and have a free drink
at the bar. After a few minutes a younger looking lady approached me and
started chatting. Well soon she stated, "she was a "working girl and did I
need company." I declined the offer and she went on to state she needed
$300.00 to pay her current rent. I told her I thought that was a lousy sales
technique telling me her needs instead of trying to meet mine and get a
sale. So she continued to chat and soon she said, "what do you do to
satisfy your urges?" without a hesitation or a blink of my eye I said, " I
GAMBLE" With that she knew she wouldn't get a sale and she was gone.

Now have we primed the pump for some juicier stories?

O.K. another true story from a friend - Tom's story

The thread about guilty pleasures got me thinking about one morning
when I was sitting at the VP bar at the Golden Nugget waiting for me
wife to come down. We are usually up bright and early because of the
two hour time change.

The only other person at the bar at 8AM was an obvious hooker, and she
looked like she had been run over and wrung out. I got in a
conversation with her, and she was telling me about her night. Please
be clear that there was not even a hint that I was interested in
extending that night.

My wife showed up and I introduced the "lady" by telling my wife that
she was a "working girl," to which my wife replied "so you work here?"
The lady and I howled. Evidentally my wife had never heard of the term
"working girl" before.

Tom

One from my "in box"

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of a
small Florida church found a pink envelope containing $1000.

It happened again the next week.

The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw a
little old lady put the distinctive pink envelope in the plate.

This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached
her.

"Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the
collection plate," he stated.

"Why yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money, and I give some
of it to the church."

The pastor replied, "That's wonderful, how much does he send you?"

The old lady said, "$10,000 a week."

The pastor was amazed. "Your son is very successful. What does he do for a
living?"

"He is a veterinarian," she answered.

"That is an honorable profession," the pastor said. "Where does he
practice?"

The old lady said proudly, "In Nevada. He has two cat houses in Las Vegas
and one in Reno."

I'm disabled, so the strippers couldn't get any money from me, but they understood and still gave me a good show. Pretty nice of them!

one B/man sent me

The best story I read today cleaning my files.

A Pastor's wife tells of her day.....

The other day I went to the local religious book store where I saw a
"Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the
back bumper of my car and I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting
experience followed!!

I was stopped at the light of a busy intersection, just lost in thought
about the Lord, and didn't notice that the light had changed.
That bumper sticker reallly worked! I found lots of people who love
Jesus. Why, the fella' behind me started to honk like crazy. He must
really love the Lord, because pretty soon he leaned out his window and
yelled, "Jesus Christ!" It was like a football game with him shouting,
"Go! Jesus Christ Go!" Everybody else started honking too, so I leaned out
of my window and waved and smiled to all those loving people.There must
have been a guy from Florida back there because I heard him yelling
something about a 'sunny beach' and I saw him waving in a funny way with
only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I had recently asked my kids
what that meant. They kind of squirmed, looked at each other, giggled, and
told me that it was the Hawaiin good luck sigh. So I leaned back out of
the car window and gave them the good luck sign back. A couple of the
people were so caught up with the joy of the moment that they got out of
their cars and were walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray, but
just then I noticed that the light had changed and I stepped on the gas.
It's a good thing I did because I was the only car to get across the
intersection. I looked back at them standing there, I leaned out the car
window, gave them a big smile, and held up the Hawaiin good luck sign as I
drove away.

Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!


(Ha ha Bossman I beat you posting this one)

Where have you gone. The phone is dead and your place vacated?

__________________
In the casino, everyone thinks they're an expert. An expert is a guy who knows 47 ways to make love, but can't find a girlfriend. - From Wit & Wisdom To Help You Win, by John Gollehon -

few years back wife and went to the red rooster//now that was wild and for sure that nights events stayed in vegas//1st and only time we ever did anything like that. glad we did because now we know what happens at those type of clubs!!

I don't know? What happened?

__________________
In the casino, everyone thinks they're an expert. An expert is a guy who knows 47 ways to make love, but can't find a girlfriend. - From Wit & Wisdom To Help You Win, by John Gollehon -